Inside his mansion Mr. Burns emerges from a coffin, a la the Crypt-Keeper. With the help of a ghoulish-looking Smithers, the Crypt-Keeper tortures Moe, who’s strapped inside an iron maiden.

“Married to the Blob” — One night, as Homer and Marge make out in the backyard, a meteor descends from the heavens, burning off the top of Marge’s hair in the process. The meteorite cracks open like an egg, revealing a gelatinous mass of green goo. Mistaking the ooze for a “space marshmallow,” Homer tries to eat the goo, which seems to have a mind of its own. He eventually manages to suck the slime off a stick. The goo tries to escape from Homer’s body, but Homer manages to keep it down. That night the ooze grumbles inside Homer. Homer begins to feel incredibly hungry, so he heads to the kitchen for a bite to eat. Unfortunately nothing can quell Homer’s hunger… not even Bart. Marge catches Homer trying to eat Bart, and Homer is forced to pull the boy from his mouth. Homer leaves the house in search of nourishment. He gobbles down a teenager, and grows into a fifteen foot mass of jelly. Homer turns his attention to an Oktoberfest, where he wolfs down some overweight Germans. He continues his rampage, eating all the fat people he can find. Police surround the rampaging beast, and open fire. Homer rips the top off a city bus, and pops riders in his mouth like a kid eating from a box of chocolates. Dr. Phil McGraw approaches Homer, and offers to help with his weight problem. Homer responds by swallowing Dr. Phil. Marge talks to Homer, hoping to find some way to solve the problem. Homer comes up with a plan to turn his condition into a positive for the community: before long he’s eating homeless people.

“You Gotta Know When to Golem” — After attending a taping of Krusty’s television show, Bart makes his way backstage, where he discovers the prop room. Inside are various props from Krusty’s skits… along with a hulking statue. Krusty tells Bart the statue is called the Golem, a legendary defender of the Jewish people created by a rabbi out of clay. The Golem will perform any task that is written on a scroll and placed in its mouth. Sensing an opportunity, Bart scribbles some words on a piece of scrap paper. They read, “come to my house on midnight.” He places the paper in the Golem’s mouth. That night the Golem appears. The next day Bart uses the Golem to strike back at bullies. Lisa finds out what’s been going on. She tells Bart the Golem doesn’t like hurting people. To prove her point she writes the word “speak” on a piece of paper, and places it in the Golem’s mouth. The Golem comes to life, and sounding a lot like comedian Richard Lewis, tells Lisa he feels bad about what he did to the bullies. Later Bart commands the Golem to tie a rope around Skinner and toss him around like a yo-yo, eventually tearing him in half. The Golem grows increasingly uncomfortable with his actions. Bart and Lisa decide there’s only one thing left to do: they sculpt a beautiful woman out of Play-Doh. Marge writes the word “live” on some paper, and places it in the female Golem’s mouth. The female Golem springs to life, and sounding not unlike Fran Drescher, makes comments about the dress she’s wearing. The male Golem is instantly smitten, and the two are married in a synagogue.

“The Day the Earth Looked Stupid” — The year is 1938; the place: Springfield. People from throughout town listen as a special bulletin is broadcast. An announcer warns that giant metal cylinders are landing on the outskirts of major cities. Their place of origin: Mars. As the broadcast continues, a reporter describes seeing a tentacle emerge from one of the Martian cylinders, and claims that the alien creature is disintegrating people with beams of energy. What radio listeners don’t know is that the invasion is a hoax, the brainchild of Orson Welles. Before long, pandemonium spreads throughout town. Marge encourages everyone to act like animals, since the Martians only seem interested in killing people. When Lisa sees what’s going on, she tells everyone that the radio broadcast is a staging of the H.G. Wells novel The War of the Worlds. Everyone looks embarrassed. But real aliens Kang and Kodos have witnessed the entire episode. They decide it’s a perfect time to launch an invasion, as everyone would believe it’s yet another hoax. Their spaceship fires on Springfield, destroying the statue of Jebediah Springfield and turning Moe into ash. Orson Welles appears, and tells Chief Wiggum the town is being destroyed in a real invasion. Wiggum phones a military base. Later Kang and Kodos assess their mission. Kang reminds Kodos about something he’d said earlier: that the aliens would be greeted as liberators. Kodos defends the invasion, insisting that humans were working on weapons of mass disintegration.