Bart and Milhouse try to pull a prank on Apu, but he catches on immediately, putting an end to their scheme. The pair target Barney, but he too is wise to their ways. A short time later a man named Howell Huser literally falls off the back of a turnip truck. Realizing their good fortune, Bart and Milhouse look at each other and chuckle. Instead of escorting the bumpkin-like Huser to the visitor’s bureau, they take him to a lake near the power plant. Huser is attacked by several piranha-like three-eyed fish. Next Bart and Milhouse trick Huser into entering Mr. Burns’ manor, where Huser is mauled by vicious dogs. And later, the boys offer Huser a stick of gum…which snaps Huser’s finger. Furious, Huser brushes one finger on another, making a “shame on you” motion. It turns out that Huser is a wandering reporter who talks about his experiences on television. When he files his report on Springfield, he has nothing but bad things to say. Soon after, tourists avoid the city, triggering an economic downturn. Mayor Quimby holds a meeting at town hall to discuss the dire situation. Lisa suggests that Springfield legalize gay marriage.

It isn’t long before gay people flock to the city to be married. When Reverend Lovejoy refuses to marry same-sex couples, Homer smells an opportunity. He searches the Internet and finds a simple and quick way to become an ordained minister. Soon after, he offers to wed gay couples for $200. He’s so successful he ends up marrying every gay couple in town. With business tapering off, Homer starts marrying anyone to anything, then charging $200. Marge’s sister Patty drops by the house and asks Homer for a favor. She announces she’s getting married and wants Homer to perform the ceremony. Marge is elated… until she finds out that the groom’s name is “Veronica,” and that Patty is gay.

Marge assures Patty she doesn’t have a problem with her homosexuality, but Patty is skeptical. Later Marge pays her sister Selma a visit. Selma says that she’s happy as long as Patty is happy. In reality she misses her sister. Marge invites Patty and her fiancée to the house for dinner. Patty introduces the family to her girlfriend Veronica: an athletic, outdoorsy woman wearing a turtleneck. Patty describes how she met Veronica, a pro-golfer, at a driving range. Patty had been suffering from a shooting pain in her leg. Veronica noticed a golf tee in the bottom of Patty’s shoe. Veronica removed the tee, and the two fell in love. After Patty finishes telling the story, she and Veronica kiss. When Marge disagrees with Patty about their mother being okay with Patty’s lifestyle, Patty and Veronica make a hasty exit. Later, as Homer prepares for the marriage ceremony, Marge decides she needs a hot bath. As she opens the bathroom door, Marge walks in on Veronica just as she finishes using the toilet. Marge notices that the toilet seat is up. This and other evidence makes Marge realize that Veronica is actually a man. She happily skips away. During the wedding ceremony, Marge can’t keep the discovery to herself. She announces that Veronica is a man. The wedding guests react with disbelief and shock. Veronica tells Patty his real name is Leslie Robin Swisher. Leslie gets down on one knee and asks Patty to marry him, but Patty insists she’s only interested in girls. Later Patty thanks Marge for accepting her for who she is.