As Bart tricks Milhouse and Ralph into raking leaves in the front yard, Sherri and Terri wander by with their cute cousin Amanda. Sherri and Terri tell Bart that Amanda has a crush on him, and soon after, the entire group makes their way to the tree house, where Milhouse empties one of Homer’s beer cans onto the floor so everyone can play “Spin the Bottle.” Homer realizes someone stole his beer, and sticks his head into the tree house to investigate. At that moment Milhouse closes his eyes to kiss Amanda… but kisses Homer instead. Homer’s anger erupts when he sees the empty beer. He starts to strangle Bart, but Marge intercedes, telling Homer they’ll settle the matter in family court. Soon after, the Simpsons gather in the living room, where Lisa acts as judge. After Bart presents his opening statement, Homer questions him on the witness stand. When Homer brings up the subject of kissing girls, Lisa asks Homer about his first kiss. Homer admits his first kiss wasn’t with Marge. Marge reacts with shock. Homer recounts how some thirty years earlier, his father dropped him off at summer camp. In flashback a young Moe tells Homer that a nearby camp for girls subsidizes the boy’s camp. As a result Homer and the other boys are forced to work in the girls’ kitchen scraping off dirty dishes. When a tray slides down the chute, one of the girls cries out that her retainer is on the tray. Homer recovers the retainer, and returns it to the girl by pushing it up a dumbwaiter. That night Homer tells the other boys that although he couldn’t see the girl’s face, he got a date with her. A young Lenny advises Homer to bring along some protection… and hands him a switchblade. Homer opens it too close to his eye and ends up cutting himself. In the camp infirmary he’s outfitted with an eye patch. Later the Sea Captain shuttles Homer across the lake separating the two camps. A mesmerized Homer watches as a cute ten-year-old girl steps out of the fog and into the moonlight. In the present day Homer tells his family that the little girl was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. Then Marge reveals that she was the little girl. Marge tells the kids that Homer broke her heart, and if she’d known it was him, she would never have married him.

In the present day Marge recounts her version of what happened all those years ago. Marge says the girl’s camp was focused on teaching etiquette. It was run by Ms. Killebrew, a Katharine Hepburn-like instructor. One night Killebrew gave the girls a special dinner to show them how to use all thirty-three forks. Killebrew praised Marge for her performance, but a short time later Marge realized she left her retainer on the tray. It disappeared down the chute, but a short time later it returned on the dumbwaiter. A grateful Marge called down the chute to ask for her savior’s name. Homer was embarrassed about his name, so he called himself Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar. Later, as Marge prepared for her date with Homer, she ironed her hair. When she sat on the beach nervously awaiting his arrival, she heard the Sea Captain singing and reacted with disappointment. Moments later she met Homer, and was instantly smitten. Homer and Marge eventually kissed, then arranged to meet each other again the following night… but Homer stood her up.

In the present Homer explains why he stood Marge up. In flashback we see Marge and Homer kissing. When they pull apart, Homer gives Marge a stone shaped like a heart. He then walked off, eager about their date their following night. Unfortunately he walked off a cliff and fell into the water below. When he regained consciousness he found himself on the edge of another camp: one for fat boys. Homer told a guard that he didn’t belong there, but the guard said his bosoms told a different tale. Meanwhile, back at the girls’ camp, Marge erupted in tears when Homer didn’t show up for their second date. Marge tossed the heart-shaped rock away and it broke in two. At the fat camp Homer made a desperate bid for freedom by jumping on the back of a truck headed for the security gate, but by the time he reached the girls’ camp, Marge was gone. He found half of the heart-shaped stone and let out a sigh. In the present day Homer finishes telling his story, and looks to Marge for forgiveness. Marge tells him thirty years of hurt doesn’t disappear instantly. Homer then opens his “memory box” and pulls out his half of the stone. Marge reaches into a drawer and pulls out the other half. Homer and Marge kiss, and then roll around on the bed.