A television commercial announces an upcoming soccer game at Springfield auditorium. Excited by the ad, Homer decides to take his entire family to the event. But as the match gets underway, spectators quickly grow frustrated with the sport’s lack of action. Boredom turns to violence, and the Simpsons beat a hasty retreat for the parking lot. The melee spills out into the city, causing Homer to grow concerned over the lack of security in his home. He decides that only a handgun will bring him piece of mind.

Marge grows outraged when she realizes her husband purchased a firearm. She cites statistical evidence proving a gun owner is more likely to shoot a family member than an intruder, and demands it be removed. But Homer convinces Marge to attend an NRA meeting, hoping it will change her mind. Afterward, Marge resigns herself to the fact that her husband intends to keep the weapon. Soon after, Homer recklessly discharges the pistol inside the house. Fearing for the safety of her children, Marge again asks Homer to get rid of the gun. Homer promises to do so, but Bart later discovers it hidden inside the refrigerator. Marge decides to leave Homer until he decides which is more important—the gun or his family.

Marge leaves with the children and rents a room at a seedy motel. Meanwhile, Homer invites his NRA friends over to his home for a get-together. During the meeting, Homer recklessly discharges his gun. Appalled, gun club members kick Homer out of the organization. Later that night, Homer realizes he made a terrible mistake. He drives to the sleazy motel and apologizes to Marge for his behavior, insisting the weapon is gone for good. As the family checks out of the motel lobby, Jailbird stages a stick-up. Homer pulls out his gun, getting the drop on the robber. Marge realizes she was lied to yet again. Several NRA members burst through the door. Jailbird drops the gun and makes off with the cash drawer. Marge thanks the NRA members for their help, calling them “heroes.” Homer hands her the gun, and asks that she dispose of it. Discreetly, Marge drops the pistol into her purse.