As Homer drives along a freeway with his family, the Rich Texan cuts him off. Homer pulls out a baseball bat, vowing revenge. Marge tells Homer that revenge never solved anything. She then recounts a story to illustrate her claim.

“The Count of Monte Fatso” — The story begins in Paris in the 1800s. A jealous Meaux (Moe) watches from afar as Homer and Marge kiss. Meaux vows to take away everything Homer cherishes in life. That night Gendarme Wiggum shows up at Chez Simpson, and announces that Homer is under arrest for treason. During the trial Meaux reads aloud letters Homer allegedly wrote. In them Homer declares his love for England. Homer is sent to jail, and Meaux puts the moves on Marge. Mr. Burns, a fellow convict, tells Homer about a tunnel under the jail, and some buried treasure he can use to exact revenge. Homer escapes, and just as Burns had claimed, finds the buried treasure on a deserted island. Homer uses the money to purchase a beautiful palace. He becomes the Count of Monte Cristo. The Count invites Marge to attend a lavish party. During the festivities the Count invites Meaux to be the first to partake of the evening’s entertainment. A huge curtain parts, revealing a large mechanical contraption. The Count then reveals his true identity: he is, in fact, Homer. Moments later Meaux is subjected to some Rube-Goldberg-like tortures. When Meaux dies Marge angrily accuses Homer of killing her husband. Marge says that Homer devoted so much time plotting his revenge, he forgot everything in life that matters most.

Back in the car Homer seems unaffected by Marge’s story. Lisa tells Homer she has a story about revenge:

“Revenge of the Geeks” — At Springfield Elementary, Milhouse tells the other kids he’s sick and tired of being pushed around by bullies. In the science lab he shows his fellow geeks his new invention: “The Get-back-inator.” Milhouse intends to use the futuristic, glove-like device to strike back at those who’ve inflicted pain on him. Before long Dolph and the other bullies suffer the humiliation and pain of wedgies and purple nurples. When one of his fellow geeks embarrasses him in front of Lisa, Milhouse uses the device to mete out punishment. Drunk with power, Milhouse vows to hurt everyone who’s ever hurt him. Lisa tells Milhouse he has to stop. When Milhouse demands that she be his queen, Lisa turns down the offer, preferring to remain friends. Milhouse aims the device at Lisa, only to realize he’s incapable of hurting her. He drops the glove. Moments later Nelson retrieves it, and tortures Milhouse.

When Homer continues to chase down the Rich Texan, Bart begins his story:

“Bart-Man Begins” — In the 1940s Homer, Marge, and Bart attend an opera. As they exit the theater, Jailbird appears. During the robbery Jailbird shoots and kills Homer and Marge. Bart promises to avenge the killings, but he doesn’t know how. Grampa, a former crime fighter, offers to help. He trains Bart, and gets him into shape. Before long Bart-Man patrols city streets, protecting the innocent. This pits him against a rogues’ gallery of villains; including the Toker (Otto), the Diddler (Flanders), and various other ne’er-do-wells. During a black-tie gala at the Gotham Natural History Museum, a criminal who calls himself the Serpent mesmerizes the crowd with flute music. Before he can make off with a priceless jewel, Bart-Man springs into action. He overpowers the criminal, and tears off his mask… exposing Jailbird. During a scuffle, Jailbird is impaled. After he dies, Bart announces he’s gotten his revenge. He pulls off his mask, and announces he no longer needs to be a superhero.

Homer and the Rich Texan patch up their differences.