As Homer watches television, the remote falls into a potato-chip bag. Santa’s Little Helper sticks his face into the bag and munches away, accidentally swallowing the remote in the process. Whenever the dog barks, the television changes channels. Homer chases the dog through the dog door, only to get stuck. Patty and Selma happen by, and seeing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, put lipstick, rouge, and eye makeup on Homer. The television ends up on the Urban Television channel, where Bart learns about an upcoming all-star benefit for destitute fighter Drederick Tatum, dubbed “Murder 4 Life,” featuring a who’s-who list of rap stars. Homer tells Bart he can attend the concert if he can pay for the $50 ticket. Bart buys a ticket, but when Marge finds out, she forbids him from attending. Bart goes to his room, where he decides to disobey Marge and do what he wants. He climbs out the window and makes his way to Springfield Coliseum. As rap artist Alcatraaaz performs a song, the microphone falls out of his hand. Bart catches it, and when Alcatraaaz asks for its return, Bart raps back, impressing not only Alcatraaaz, but the audience as well. Alcatraaaz gives Bart a ride home in his limousine, and along the way, bumps into fellow rapper 50 Cent. When Bart approaches the house, he realizes Homer and Marge know he’s missing. Instead of taking his punishment, Bart throws a rock through the window. Attached is a note claiming that Bart has been kidnapped.

As townspeople pray for Bart’s safe return, Chief Wiggum promises to solve the case, but he makes a fool of himself in front of a large crowd of people. Meanwhile Milhouse finds out that Bart faked the whole thing. Bart tells Milhouse he needs a place to hide out until things cool off. Milhouse suggests that Bart hide in his father’s apartment. Since his father is at work, Milhouse escorts Bart to his room. Wiggum grows convinced that he’s nothing more than a big failure. The image of a jittery sheriff’s deputy appears before him. The sheriff’s deputy gives Wiggum a pep talk and encourages him to do some police work. Wiggum takes his advice. Later Bart phones his house, and disguising his voice, pretends he’s one of the kidnappers. Using a reel-to-reel tape recorder, Wiggum records the call. Marge begs for Bart’s safe return, and begins to sob. Bart feels guilty for what he’s done, so he stops disguising his voice and tells Marge he’s going to be all right. As he talks, Bart makes some Jiffy-Pop-style popcorn on the stove. Kirk returns home, and Bart suddenly ends the conversation. Wiggum analyzes the tape recording and focuses on the sound of the popcorn being made. He realizes the brand of popcorn is Chintzy-Pop. Wiggum and his men pay Apu a visit. Apu says there are only two people in town cheap enough to buy Chintzy-Pop. One is Wiggum; the other is Kirk Van Houten. Wiggum and his men burst through Kirk’s door and place him under arrest for kidnapping. News of Wiggum’s success spreads through town. Later Milhouse tells Bart he can’t let his father go to jail.

Wiggum is promoted to police commissioner. A short time later Bart enters Wiggum’s new office and confesses to the hoax. Wiggum begs Bart to keep his confession under wraps, because if word leaks out, Wiggum’s life will come tumbling down. Meanwhile Lisa discovers Bart’s “Murder 4 Life” concert t-shirt near Bart’s treehouse. Lisa tells Principal Skinner that Bart was never kidnapped, but she needs more proof. When Wiggum finds out that Lisa and Skinner have been snooping around the office, he begins to panic. He tells Homer and Bart about the development. Bart says that if Lisa finds someone who can place him at the rap concert, the entire scheme will unravel. Lisa and Principal Skinner make their way to Alcatraaaz’s mansion, where Alcatraaaz shows them a videotape of the concert. When Bart appears on stage, singing a rap song, it proves Lisa’s theory. Suddenly Wiggum, Homer, and Bart burst into the room. Alcatraaaz and his posse pull out their guns. Both sides end up convincing Lisa that the best solution to the problem is for everyone to keep their mouths shut, but even Lisa has a price: she insists that Homer throw a backyard barbecue party, complete with a vegetarian menu and a pony.