As Homer watches television, he comes upon a sports program and learns that the commissioner of pro football has announced plans to expand the league. Homer tells Marge and the kids that he will do everything possible to bring the new pro football franchise to Springfield. Marge and the kids burst out laughing, certain Homer lacks the wherewithal to follow through on his enthusiasm. Homer wows Marge by designing a state-of-the-art stadium and mock-ups of his football team’s uniforms. He calls the team the Springfield Meltdowns. The commissioner of professional football announces he’s narrowed down the choice of expansion cities to two: Springfield and Los Angeles. The commissioner plays a videotape hosted by actor/director Rob Reiner. In the tape Reiner explains why Hollywood would make a great choice for the location of the new team. The commissioner and his colleagues are turned off by the tape, and the contract is awarded to Springfield. Before long Springfield repaints the city in the team’s colors, and all of the streets are renamed in honor of professional football. When Mayor Quimby introduces the commissioner of football during an expansion-agreement signing, no one appears. It turns out that the new street signs and name changes caused the commissioner to get lost. He ends up ringing the doorbell at the Simpson house, hoping he can use their phone. Homer and the rest of the family are away at the expansion-agreement signing. Grampa answers the front door, having just watched a television program on criminals who prey on the elderly. Fearing for his life, Grampa hits the commissioner over the head with a golf club, and ties him up. When Homer, Marge, and the kids return home, they tell Grampa he made a mistake. When the commissioner is untied, he vows to bring the football team somewhere else. After the commissioner stomps out the front door, the rest of the family glares at Grampa… who tries to make everyone love him by dancing a jig.

People throughout Springfield blame Grampa for losing the football team. Saddened, Grampa returns to the retirement community, where the Old Jewish Man gives him the name and phone number of a doctor who helps people commit suicide. At first Grampa rejects the idea, but the Old Jewish Man convinces him to make an appointment. Grampa shows up at the office of Dr. Egoyan, who thinks Grampa is a great candidate for assisted suicide. He asks Grampa to think about the idea for 24 hours. Grampa returns to the retirement home, where he decides to end his life if he doesn’t receive a single phone call in 24 hours. When the phone doesn’t ring, Grampa makes his way to Dr. Egoyan’s office, where he’s hooked up to a large machine called the DiePod. Grampa’s life flashes before his eyes. Dr. Egoyan monitors Grampa’s vital signs, and announces he has only one minute left to live. Suddenly Wiggum and his men burst through the door. They announce that voters have overturned the assisted suicide law. Wiggum leads Dr. Egoyan out of the room, leaving Grampa alone. When Grampa regains consciousness in the quiet room, he mistakenly concludes that he’s dead. He makes his way to Luigi’s restaurant, where the Simpsons are having dinner. Lisa assures Grampa he’s still very much alive. Grampa says that the brief time he thought he was dead was the happiest time of his life, as he was living without fear. He decides to live the rest of his life the same way. Grampa and the family attend a town-hall meeting, where Mayor Quimby listens to suggestions about what to do with the new football stadium. Someone in the audience suggests it be used as a bullfighting arena. Most of the townspeople like the idea, and the decision is made to bring bullfighting to Springfield. Grampa volunteers to be a matador.

With some help from Bart, who dons a horned Viking helmet, the Souvenir Jaquitos Leader teaches Grampa how to bullfight. One Saturday afternoon the stadium opens, and people gather to watch Grampa fight the bull. Lisa protests the cruel sport by singing a protest song outside the stadium. As the bull charges Grampa, he performs several veronica maneuvers and avoids being gored by the bull, who comes closer and closer. Eventually the winded bull collapses on the ground. Grampa raises a sword to finish off the animal, but Grampa gets scared when people start throwing flowers. He runs away. Lisa approaches Grampa and asks him to give up bullfighting. Grampa doesn’t want to, as it’s the first time in his life that people have cheered for him. Lisa says she’s always cheered for Grampa… until now. The next time Grampa performs a bullfight, he again tires out the bull until it collapses. This time, however, he opens a pen and sets the other bulls free. Pamplona-style, the bulls chase locals — including the Comic Book Guy and Principal Skinner — down a street. Lisa has Grampa come to her school during show-and-tell, where she describes how Grampa saved the lives of 37 defenseless bulls.