During a bus ride to the Museum of Television, Nelson’s lunch box explodes, and when he can’t afford to pay the admission price to the museum, he gets kicked off the bus. Meanwhile, at the nuclear plant, Mr. Burns worries about an upcoming visit by the board of directors. Anxious to keep his problematic employees out of sight, he instructs Smithers to give Homer, Lenny, and Carl some money and send them to the nearest bar. Homer and his buddies get drunk, and even more so when Apu buys everyone free drinks to celebrate his wedding anniversary. Apu asks Homer what he plans on getting Marge for their anniversary, prompting Homer to pull a box of playing cards out of his pocket. When an inebriated Homer leaves Moe’s Tavern, he stumbles and falls. Mistaking him for a homeless person, passersby start handing him money. At the Museum of Television Isabelle Sanford (from The Jeffersons) introduces a clip from an old crime show. Later Milhouse tells Bart he doesn’t care what people think about him anymore. Milhouse’s mother has gotten a job in Capital City, and now they’re moving out of town. Bart is heartbroken. Later Bart and Milhouse look on as movers load boxes onto trucks. Milhouse’s father Kirk stops by and reminds his ex-wife, Luanne, that he has visitation rights. He vows to fight her with everything he’s got.

Bart tries to have a friendship with Ralph, but he’s so hopeless the relationship doesn’t last long. Meanwhile Homer notices a billboard advertising diamonds as a romantic gift. Homer laments that he’ll never be able to give Marge a nice anniversary present. Then he notices a transient holding a sign, on which is written a request for money. Inspired, Homer smudges some dirt on his face and tries the same thing. Another indigent man appraises Homer, telling him he’d do better if he acts crazy. Homer starts screaming and makes crazy-sounding noises. A man in a passing car throws a dollar at him. He ends up making so much money that he’s able to purchase Marge some diamonds. Meanwhile Bart decides to pay Milhouse a visit. He boards an airplane and flies to Capital City. Bart discovers that Milhouse has undergone a makeover and now sports spiked, blonde hair. He’s also been much more successful at making friends. Bart even allows Milhouse to give him a wedgie so his buddies will like him even more. Bart then exits, looking very sad. When Bart returns to Springfield, Marge assigns him the task of washing the car with Lisa. The pair have a surprising amount of fun playing with the water and spraying each other. Later Homer presents Marge with diamond earrings. Meanwhile Bart and Lisa go bike-riding in the woods, where they discover a Native American burial ground. Lisa and Bart soon realize they’ve become best friends.

When transients realize Homer is stealing away all their business, they decide to take action. One of them leads Marge down the street and shows her Homer, who’s dressed like a Hare Krishna and banging a tambourine. She hands Homer the earrings and tells him to return them. She wants the money to go to the homeless. Meanwhile Lisa cracks the code of a pictograph she found at the burial mound. She tells Bart there’s a curse on it. Just then she realizes that Bart is playing with Milhouse. As it turns out, Milhouse’s father got a court order to bring his son back to Springfield. Lisa is saddened when she realizes Bart will no longer be her best friend. Bart tries to soften the blow by playing a game of Monopoly that includes customized cards featuring promises like “Bart will make your bed for a week.” Lisa is touched, and even more so when Bart says that just because Milhouse is back, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t learned a few things about being a brother.