As Bart watches a television program featuring an Australian wildlife host, Lisa uses the remote to switch the channel to a show called “Dollhouse Do-Overs.” A struggle for control of the remote ensues, until Marge enters the living room with Maggie and changes the channel to a show featuring a bearded man with a French accent happily singing to children. Both Bart and Lisa dread the idea of watching the man, whose name is Roofi, perform his act. Marge counters that Maggie loves watching the show. Bart accidentally suggests that Marge run out and buy Maggie a Roofi CD. Soon after, Roofi’s annoying music can be heard throughout the house, courtesy of Maggie’s new boom box. As Maggie sleeps, Homer tries to smash the boom box with a hammer, but Maggie opens her eyes, and Homer uses the hammer to hit himself in the head. Things get so bad that Bart doesn’t want to leave school, knowing that when he returns home he’ll have to hear the music. One day Marge sees an ad on television announcing that Roofi will be in Springfield for a one-show-only live performance. The day the tickets go on sale, parents from throughout Springfield line up to purchase them. Marge returns home and proudly announces that she managed to get some. When the day of the concert arrives, however, Marge realizes the concert was grossly oversold. A la Woodstock, thousands of mothers and children arrive at Cletus’ farm for the concert. Unfortunately, after the Teletubbies finish their warm-up act, it begins to rain. By the time Roofi makes it onstage, the babies in the audience are having tantrums. Roofi won’t tolerate the outburst. He climbs aboard a helicopter and flies off. Chief Wiggum and his men arrive at the scene and begin tummy-kissing the rioting babies.

The baby riot prompts a meeting at Springfield town hall. Attorney Lindsay Naegle addresses the crowd, saying that she’s the founder of a group opposed to the idea of childless people paying school taxes. The childless in the audience think Lindsay has a point. They storm out of town hall and begin attacking every child-friendly thing in town. Marge decides to meet with Naegle in hopes of softening her point of view. When Naegle won’t budge, Marge decides to declare war against her group.

At Luigi’s restaurant, Sideshow Mel and other childless people celebrate their victory while eating in the newly-created “adults only” section. Meanwhile, in the family section, Marge announces the creation of PPASSCCATAG: “Proud Parents Against Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays.” When Marge mentions the need to raise money, however, everyone suddenly disappears. Marge manages to gather enough signatures to put the “Families Come First” initiative on the ballet. On a slow news day Kent Brockman interviews Marge about her cause. When the news broadcast cuts away for a commercial, Marge sees an ad paid for by Mothers Against Families Come First, featuring an actress made up to look like Marge. That night Homer promises to create a commercial that will sell the whole town on the joy of having children. When Marge watches the finished piece, however, she realizes Homer’s ad is filled with erroneous information, and actually encourages viewers to vote for the opposition. Upset, Marge storms off. Moments later Bart and Lisa concoct a scheme to win the election. As childless people show up to cast their votes, kids begin hugging and kissing them. The ploy works: the germs the kids carry have an almost immediate effect, causing the anti-“Families Come First” supporters to fall to the ground, overcome with sickness, their immune systems overwhelmed.