Homer’s snoring prevents Marge from getting any sleep. Marge takes Homer to the doctor to see if anything can be done to stop the snoring, but the surgery the doctor suggests is too expensive. Exhausted, Marge goes to spend a night sleeping at Patty and Selma’s. The three women are drinking and watching TV when a news report lists the country’s richest men. Artie Ziff, whom Marge once dated, is number five on the list, having made a fortune in computers. Patty and Selma persuade Marge to dictate a congratulatory email to Artie, but they rewrite her innocent message into a solicitation for sex, and send it on Marge’s behalf. Artie is happy to receive the email, since he's been obsessed with Marge for over twenty years.

In the morning, Marge is at home making breakfast when Artie helicopters onto the Simpson front lawn. The family spills out to meet him, and Artie is only mildly put off to find that Marge is married. He takes the family to his yacht, where he offers Homer one million dollars for a weekend alone with Marge. Homer and Marge indignantly decline the proposal, and go home. But that night, Homer’s snoring keeps Marge awake again. Homer points out that if they accepted Artie’s offer, they could afford to have the snoring surgery done. Reluctantly, Marge agrees to the deal. Artie arrives in his helicopter, and ferries Marge to Las Vegas for a romantic dinner. Meanwhile, Homer is drinking with the guys at Moe's. The guys assume that for a million dollars Artie will have sex with Marge, and Homer, panicked, heads off to get her back. By now, Artie has taken Marge to his mansion, where he’s arranged a re-creation of their high school prom. They went to the prom together, the first time, and Artie hopes to return to that night, but this time, to keep Marge forever. The two dance, along with other Springfield residents who attended their prom, all paid by Artie to participate. But at the end of the night, Marge protests that nothing will make her forget Homer. Artie forces a kiss on Marge anyway, and she fights to push him away. At that moment, Homer arrives, and sees what appear to be Marge and Artie making out.

By the time Marge gets away from Artie, Homer is gone. He returns to Moe’s, devastated. The guys there convince him Artie now has Marge, so Homer decides to leave Springfield, and Lenny agrees to go with him. When Marge gets home, expecting to find Homer, she finds a videotape waiting for her instead. On the tape, Homer explains what he saw, and that he’s leaving her. Homer and Lenny take a bus to West Springfield, and get hired to work on an oil rig. Marge and the kids track him, through police reports of Homer sightings. They realize he must have taken a very dangerous oil rig job, but there’s no way to pinpoint his location. Artie comes to the rescue, allowing Marge to use his helicopter to search for Homer. He accompanies her, fruitlessly hitting on her the whole time, until they find Homer and Lenny. By this time, Homer and Lenny have set fire to an oil derrick, and are about to be consumed by flames. Artie and Marge drop a ladder to them, from the helicopter. But Homer refuses to climb up, if he’s lost Marge. Artie assures Homer that Marge still loves him, and Homer happily clambers aboard, with Lenny following. At home, Marge won’t let Homer take Artie’s million dollars. They do accept Artie’s latest invention, a snoring mask. Homer wears it, and it muffles his snoring, but it substitutes Artie’s voice telling Marge to dump the loser. Artie leaves empty-handed, except for a lock of Marge’s hair. He takes the hair to his cloning lab, and tries to clone her, but all the clones slap him, when he kisses them, just the way Marge did.