While giving Mr. Burns a driver’s test so he can renew his license, Selma experiences hot flashes and mood swings. Mr. Burns loses control of his car, and as Bart and Milhouse dive out of the way, the vehicle plows into a snow bank. Selma is thrown from the car and taken to a hospital, where doctor Hibbert shows Selma an instructional videotape hosted by Robert Wagner. The tape is a primer on what it means to go through female menopause. When Selma realizes she’ll never be able to have children, she grows depressed. Patty shows her a newspaper ad featuring a little girl looking to be adopted. Selma, Patty, and the Simpsons travel to a nearby orphanage, where Lindsay Naegle hands a newborn to Selma. Then Cletus and Brandine, the baby’s parents, show up at the orphanage and say there’s been a mistake: they should never have given the child away. Cletus picks up the baby and drives off. Selma is heartbroken. Lisa tells Selma that China has thousands of baby girls looking to be adopted, and once she goes through the adoption process, no one can take the child away. Selma travels to the Chinese consulate, where she meets with Mr. Zhao of the Adoption Affairs Office. Zhao tells Selma her paperwork is in order except for one small detail: the name of her husband. Selma writes down the name “Homer Simpson.”

Selma pays for the Simpsons to accompany her to China. After Marge gives Homer some sleeping pills, Selma approaches the woozy Homer and asks him to pretend to be her husband. Homer screams in horror. Marge eventually convinces Homer to go along with the ruse as a favor to her. When the plane lands in Beijing, a Chinese functionary tells Selma she will have her baby in a few days. This gives the family time to explore the culture of China. They make their way to the Great Hall of the People, where they meet Madam Wu, another functionary. Selma and Homer pretend to be married. They introduce Wu to their “children,” Bart and Lisa, and their “nanny,” Marge. Later the family makes its way to a temple, where Shaolin monks perform martial arts moves. Homer mistakes them for guards at Buckingham Palace, and tries to distract them by behaving in an odd fashion. The monks use kung fu moves to beat up Homer. Later the family visits the tomb of Chairman Mao, the Great Wall of China, and even take in a Chinese production of Death of a Salesman. Wu escorts Selma and Homer to their hotel room. After Wu leaves, Homer waits a few moments and tries to sneak back to Marge’s room. When he opens the door, however, Wu is standing there. Homer returns to Selma’s room, where he and Selma fake the sound of lovemaking. The next day Homer, Selma, and the others make their way to the Forbidden City, where Wu asks Homer what he does for a living. Homer says he’s an acrobat. They make their way to the Zhengyici Theater, where Chinese acrobats put on a show. When the star acrobat is unable to perform, Madam Wu asks Homer to fill in for him. Homer is understandably reluctant, so Selma tosses him onto the stage. Acrobats place Homer onto a teeter-totter. One of the acrobats dives off a stack of chairs and lands on the other end of the teeter-totter, flipping Homer into the air. Homer lands on the top chair. The audience applauds. The chairs collapse under Homer’s weight, and he tumbles to the ground below. Homer is taken to a hospital, where Selma introduces him to her eight-month-old baby girl, Ling Bouvier. The baby reaches out and squeezes Homer’s eyeballs. Marge tells Homer that pretending to be Selma’s husband is the sweetest thing he’s ever done, and they kiss. Unbeknownst to anyone, Madam Wu is spying on Homer and Marge. When Selma and the family try to leave the hotel, Wu stops them and grabs the baby away. Wu drives off with Ling. Selma is stunned.

Selma and the Simpsons head for the airport, where they sit dejectedly, waiting for their flight. Lisa tells the others she has a plan for getting the baby back. Later the family sprays Homer with paint, making him look like a Buddha statue. They leave him in front of the orphanage, where guards push the “statue” into the building, complaining about its enormous weight. When the guards leave, Homer makes his way into the nursery, only to be confronted with hundreds of sleeping babies. Homer calls out to Ling. One of the babies coos and grabs Homer’s eyeballs. Homer realizes it’s Ling. Homer grabs the baby, but moments later Wu and the guards confront him. Selma tells Wu, bureaucrat to bureaucrat, “there’s a greater joy in bending the rules to help someone who thinks all hope is gone.” Homer says that no one else on Earth would love the baby more than Selma. Wu is moved by Selma and Homer’s words. She helps the family flee to South Korea, where they get jobs as animators.