As a result of Homer’s “helicopter parenting,” Lisa employs a trendy technique for boosting her popularity; Bart enters a balsa-wood model-building contest; and Marge discovers a sauna in the basement.

Homer and the kids make their way to an Atlantic City-style boardwalk, where they take an interest in street performers and carnival prize booths. A man juggling pins dares an unimpressed Homer to toss him something. Homer picks up Bart and Lisa, and tosses them at the juggler. Next, Homer, Bart, and Lisa happen upon a fire-eater. Homer grabs a burning torch, and shoves it in his mouth. Moments later he cries out for water. Bart hands him a jug… which turns out to contain lighter fluid. A furious Homer strangles Bart while spitting fireballs. At home Marge removes an old hot-water heater from the basement. In the process she uncovers a sauna. Marge fantasizes about sharing the sauna with Homer, but in the fantasy Homer breaks wind, causing the sauna’s flames to flare up. Dr. Hibbert visits Homer, whose badly burned tongue is now in a cast. When the cast is removed, Homer says he experienced a burning sensation after sucking on a cherry lollipop. Hibbert runs some tests, and discovers that the fire burned away Homer’s taste buds, exposing new ones. Anything flavorful will overwhelm Homer’s senses. Homer limits himself to bland dishes. The blandest of all, he discovers, are served at Springfield Elementary. To Bart’s horror, Homer begins dining at the cafeteria. While hanging out at the school, Homer strikes up a conversation with a soccer mom, who talks about the benefits of “helicopter parenting:” the process of monitoring a child, and forcing them to succeed. When Homer witnesses Lisa being humiliated by some popular kids, he concludes that both his children could use his guidance. Homer observes Bart from afar. During one of his classes, Bart struggles to come up with an idea for a balsa-wood model-building competition. Homer sails a paper airplane in Bart’s direction. On the piece of paper is written: The Washington Monument. This becomes Bart’s project until a hobby-store clerk suggests constructing something much more difficult: Westminster Abbey. Homer buys Lisa a trendy book called “Chicks with Cliques.” The book suggests using insults disguised as compliments as a way of winning new friends.

Despite Lisa’s initial concerns, using the suggestions from “Chicks with Cliques” pays off. Meanwhile, Homer builds Westminster Abbey out of balsa wood, removing Bart from the process entirely. In the basement Marge hangs out in the sauna with Patty and Selma, whose pores ooze disgusting fluid. Homer falls asleep near the Westminster Abbey model. He dreams about encountering the ghosts of Geoffrey Chaucer, Anne of Cleves, and Oscar Wilde. As he moves in his sleep, Homer accidentally destroys the model.

Homer patches together the model as best he can, and brings it to the competition at Springfield Elementary. Chalmers thinks that the models are clearly the work of meddling parents... except for Homer’s pathetic-looking Westminster Abbey. Bart ends up winning the competition. Looking ashamed, Bart admits that he didn’t build the model. Lisa tells Homer that it’s difficult hanging around girls who are so hopelessly shallow. When Homer returns home, he tells Marge about his unsuccessful efforts to steer his kids’ lives. Instead Bart and Lisa made rewarding personal decisions on their own. Marge lifts Homer’s spirits by bringing him to the sauna in the basement. Before their romantic moment can escalate, Bart announces that he’s in the sauna with them.