Bart and Lisa react with alarm as they watch a Trans-Clown-O-Morph commercial during “The Krusty the Klown Show.” One of the characters urges kids to find a secret code inside Trans-Clown-O-Morph cereal, and use it for text messages. Bart and Lisa pester Marge to buy the cereal, prompting her to change the channel to golf coverage. Before long Bart and Lisa pester Marge to buy them expensive golf clubs. Eager to get the kids away from TV, Marge tells Lisa they’ll bake banana bread. Then she tells Bart to accompany Homer to Shelbyville, where he’s having some bean-bag chairs “re-beaned.” During the ride to Shelbyville, Bart and Homer notice Martin operating a combine harvester in a wheat field. Martin tells Bart it’s part of his duties as a 4-H club member. Eager to operate the machinery, Bart joins 4-H. Before long he’s behind the wheel of his own combine. One of Bart’s other duties is to raise a calf. He gets stuck with a sickly-looking calf he names Lulubelle. Mary, a cute 4-H girl, informs Bart that the calf is male. Bart shortens the name to “Lou.” During a county fair Lou is judged Best in Show. Bart is overjoyed… until he’s told that the animal will be taken to a feedlot and slaughtered.

Bart begs Homer and Marge to buy Lou; but the animal is worth thousands of dollars, putting it beyond their means. That night Bart is awoken by the sound of mooing. He concludes that he’s being haunted by the calf’s spirit. Lisa enters the bedroom, and hears Bart promise never again to eat meat if he can save Lou’s life. He then realizes the mooing was coming from a CD player, which Lisa planted in his room to inflict guilt. Bart has a change of heart about becoming a vegetarian, but nonetheless asks Lisa for help in his quest to save Lou. With the aid of some hardcore PETA-types and a forklift, Bart and Lisa gain access to a feedlot and rescue the animal. Bart transports the cow to the farm where Mary lives. It turns out she’s Cletus’s daughter. When Bart asks Mary to take the cow, he discovers that — according to hillbilly tradition — he’s made a formal marriage proposal.

Lisa tells Bart to go ahead with the marriage so Lou will be safe. She promises to figure out a way to get him out of the marriage. A short time later Lisa tells Homer and Marge about the situation. As the clock ticks away, Bart realizes he’s only ten minutes from saying “I Do.” Moments before a preacher completes the ceremony, Marge appears and halts the proceedings. As Marge drives Bart home, she assures him she’s got a trick up her sleeve. It turns out that Lou is in the rear of Marge’s station wagon. Homer, dressed in a cow costume, took Lou’s place. A transport vehicle brings Homer to the slaughterhouse. Marge drives to the airport, where she’s arranged to have the cow flown to India (where it will be treated like a god). A short time later Marge rescues Homer before he’s butchered by machinery.